Warm hands make Warm hearts
by natzbadfairy
Summary: Meredith and Derek are together after he picked Addison but how are they together and what is going to happen?please read n review
1. Are you sure?

Disclaimer: I do not own Greys Anatomy as if I did then Dr Derek Shepherd would be mine. (If only)

N/A: my story is set two weeks after the Prom and Meredith and George didn't sleep together and Addison did show up and Derek didn't sign the divorce papers, but he made a promise to Addison that they would try again. Please read and review.

Meredith was standing at the nurses' station when she felt a warm comforting hand around her waist. Turning round sharply, she took hold of the hand and forced it down off her.

'Derek, I don't want this. You're with Addison and you're trying to see if your relationship can work. I am not going to be the one that jeopardises it. Please stop this and unless you need me for anything else professional then I would appreciate if we kept away from each other ok?'

'Meredith, please don't do this,'

'Do what Derek, refuse to be that woman that broke your marriage and any chance you's had? No I won't stop this,' Meredith lifted a chart and headed over to room 2187. An old woman was sitting, knitting.

'Mrs Califon? I'm Dr Grey; you have surgery with Dr Shepherd today for brain surgery I was just checking if you needed anything?'

'No, Dr Shepherd came in and spoke to me so I know everything I need to know,'

'Ok I'll see you later,' Meredith closed the door after her to see Addison standing at the nurse's station shouting at Derek. Meredith put her head down as she walked past the desks.

'Oh and what have you been saying to her? I seen the two of you's talking and I thought you were trying to sort our relationship out?'

'Addison, leave it, don't talk about what you know nothing about. Just…I'll see you tonight ok. I'll drive home myself,'

'Derek, why do you always run when I try and talk? I'm sick of everything being put on the backburner. You need to face up to what's going on.'

'Addison, get a grip and stay out of my face,' Derek left Addison standing at the nurses station, fuming. Derek ran towards the elevator.

'Hold the elevator!' Derek ran in to find Meredith standing with her finger on the button. Meredith's face went red, as Derek ran into the elevator.

'Please let me explain, Meredith, I need to let you know why I went with Addison,'

'Derek, I don't want to hear it. You obviously still love her; you don't need to explain anything,'

'Meet me at Joes tonight after your shift, what time do you finish?'

'Eight'

'Meet me at nine then, please be there,'

'Derek…'

'Please, Meredith, just be there,' Meredith stood in silence as the elevator kept going up, not know wither to go to Joes or not. Meredith was to scrub in on Mrs Califon's cerebral tumour removal, but she wasn't focused on the surgery. She was angry that he wanted to meet her. She was angry at Addison for interfering.

The day passed quickly and Meredith started getting butterflies in her stomach. The drive home from the hospital went quickly, too quickly for Meredith's liking. Slipping in the door and changing quickly in to jeans and a tight top, not sure wither or not it was too much. Scraping her hair back into a pony she reapplied her make up and grabbed some thing to eat. Izzie had finished another batch of brownies and they were still warm. Lifting one Meredith headed out the door, not sure wither or not she could deal with what was going to happen. Meredith got a cab to Joes so she could have a drink but after arriving at Joes she knew she should of drove. Walking into Joes, she breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't there and she hoped he would be for a while. Propping herself up on the bar stool, Joe gave her a sympathetic look.

'The usual please Joe,' Joe lifted a shot from under the bar and filed the glass with Tequila.

'So what's the problem?'

I'm meeting Derek, to talk and I need some Dutch courage. So can I have another?'

'Yeah sure, but make sure you know what your doing, ok?'

'Thanks Joe,' Meredith sat for thirty minutes, turning her head every time the bell above the door went. Joe came back over and filled a shot glass with tequila for her.

'He's gonna show, any minute now,' as Joe walked to the other end of the bar, Meredith felt a hand touch her shoulder. Turning round she smiled, realising that it was Mc Dreamy, he had showed, unlike the last time she had waited in Joes for him.

'Hey Joe, can I have two beers?' Meredith lifted her jacket and headed over to a booth and put her jacket down before going back over to get the beers.

'So you wanted to talk to me so talk,' Meredith placed a beer in front of Derek and turned to face him.

'I don't know where to start,'

'How about the start and why you said you loved me and then choose your wife who you say you don't love?'

'It was complicated, she has eleven years of my life, and I can't change that. I had an obligation to at least try and I did but…' Derek pulled a piece of paper out of his jacket pocket and threw it on the table.

'This is the reason I was late tonight,' it was their divorce papers, signed by both Derek and Addison. Meredith looked at Derek. He had a smile that melted her heart. Meredith had niggling thoughts. "Izzie and Christina are going to kill me" Taking a drink of her beer she lifted the papers and handed them back to Derek.

'Now what?'

'I want to be with you Meredith. I love you so much and it took me trying to love somebody I didn't to see that you're the only person that I can love. I don't expect us to go back to the way we were. I hurt you so badly and I feel like a bastard for it but I need you to understand that I love you,'

'Derek, your right when you say you hurt me and that it won't be a jump back in the relationship again,' Derek took hold of her hand and kissed all of her knuckles. Each kiss sent shocks down her spin. Lifting her other hand she took his head in her hands. Kissing him lightly on the lips she felt his hand go around her waist.

'Let's get out of here,' Derek pulled back from Meredith

'You sure?'

'Yeah,' pulling money out her pocket she left it sitting on the bar.

'See you later Joe,'

'Have fun,' Joe raised his eyebrows as Meredith started laughing, pulling Derek out the door of the bar. Meredith kept pulling him by the jacket until they reached the car, where she leant up against the car and pulled him in against her body. The smell of his aftershave sent her senses crazy, making her want more. As her lips crashed against his she whispered in his ear.

'I want to be with you, take me with you,' Derek opened the car door and lifted Meredith in the passenger seat. Running his hands up her thighs she started to unbutton his shirt.

'Meredith…' she pushed him away and closed the door. He climbed in the other side and took her back to the trailer. Meredith sat on top of Derek's legs.

'Bailey can't catch us here,' was all she whispered in his ear. Pushing his seat back she finished unbuttoning his shirt and ran her hands all over his chest as he lifted her top off.

'Meredith…are you sure?'

'More than anything,' that was all he needed.


	2. Do you know how much i love you?

**N/A just thought you'd like to know what else is going on**

**Burke and Cristina Are together**

**Alex and Izzy are together**

**George and a nurse called Dana have been dating**

Meredith woke up inside the trailer, smiling. Derek and hers legs were entwined together and he had his hand around her protectively. Leaning in she kissed his nose. Trying to hide the fact he was awake he tried not to smile but it was no use. The corners of his mouth shot up and his eyes opened.

'Hey beautiful,' Meredith blushed. Nobody had ever called her beautiful except for him and even though he said it constantly it still made her blush. His piercing blue eyes made her melt into him.

'Hey,' Meredith pulled her legs out from his and turned so she was on top of him.

'Dr Grey, do you know how much I love you?'

'No Dr Shepherd…how much do you love me?'

'This much,' Derek pulled her face in towards his and he kissed her with a fiery passion that she loved. Pulling back for breath she smiled.

'Dr Shepherd do you know how much I love you?'

'No Dr Grey…How much do you love me?'

'This much,' Meredith leaned in and kissed him gently before moving down his neck. Coming back up to his face she kissed his lips again, still smelling the after shave on him. Derek put his arms around her and let her lay on his chest as he drew small shapes on her back.

'What time are you due in today?'

'Bailey is put me on five till five so I have until four, you?'

'I have a surgery at four so I have until two thirty. What do you want till then?'

'Anything as long as it's with you,' Derek kissed her head, smelling the lavender shampoo that she used. Turning up to face his head she smiled and pulled the sheet off as she climbed down from him. Staggering over to the kitchen she started making coffee, trying to hold the sheet up so she could keep her dignity. Derek sat up and wiped his face with his hands. Running his hands through his hair, he didn't notice Meredith coming over and sitting right up at his face. Leaning in she kissed his nose again and started giggling. Putting his hands under legs and arms he carried her into the bathroom, and put her in the bath. Turning on the shower he got in. After washing his hair, he felt a pair of hands rub up and down his back. Turning round he pulled Meredith in against his chest, they finished showering together.

Meredith poured two bowls of Muesli and filled two mugs with coffee. It was just hitting ten thirty and she didn't want to waste the day. Derek sat down and lifted his phone. Meredith smiled. It seemed like they had never been apart. She opened the trailer door and went to her car.

Derek dialled the number, making sure that Meredith wasn't near.

'Simone, Derek shepherd here, can I meet you, I need a favour…I can meet you at 11, ok I'll see you in your office. Bye,' Derek lifted his coffee and took one long drink. Meredith came back in and changed out of Derek's shirt into a green skin tight top.

'Mere, there's a few things I need to sort out, I'll be back by 12, ok?'

'Yeah…ok…Love you,'

'Love you too,' And at that Derek left the trailer and headed out to his car, leaving Meredith wondering what he was up to. She finished tiding up and headed over to her own house. The smell of chocolate wafted through the house, making Meredith really hungry. Meredith walked into the kitchen to see what used to be her kitchen was now a bombsight.

'Izzie?'

'Mere, I'm upstairs, I'll sort the kitchen in a minute, where were you lat night?'

'I was…' Meredith stopped herself. Izzie would kill her for getting back with Derek.

'Out,'

'Where?'

'Joes,'

'Cool, your mails on the side board,' Meredith walked into the hall and threw her keys down on the table. There were two letters. One from the mortgage company saying one more payment was needed and then her mortgage was paid off and another one from the nursing home. Opening it, she carefully read everything.

_Dear Dr Grey_

_This letter is concerning your mother Ellis Grey and how her Altzimers is progressing. She has become violent toward members of staff and other patients. Although she has been slightly violent before it was never at this level. We would greatly appreciate if you could arrange a meeting with us to talk over your mothers medication and the course of action we will take in order to ensure her safety and the safety of our other residents_

_Yours sincerely_

_Morgan Heaton_

Meredith looked at her watch. 11o'clock. She had another hour. Lifting the phone she dialled the number for the home.

'Hello, Greenway residential home?'

'Hello my name id Meredith Grey. I just received a letter from a Morgan Heaton concerning my mother Ellis Grey and I was wondering if I could have a word with her?'

'Yes hold on and I'll put you through,' Cheesy music started playing when a small voice came on the phone.

'Hello? Morgan Heaton speaking,'

'Hello, I'm Meredith Grey. You contacted me about my mother Ellis Grey, I was wondering if we could make the meeting either today or tomorrow?'

'Ah yes, yes, that shouldn't be a problem. If you come in about three o'clock?'

'Yeah I'll be there, thanks,'

'I'll be waiting Dr Grey, see you then,'

'Bye,' Meredith went up the stairs and changed quickly. She still had forty minutes before she was to meet Derek. Putting her hair up she felt a sense of dread build up inside. What if they wanted to lock her mother up? She wouldn't let it happen. She'd bring her home before that would happen. But she thought about it.

'Izzie, come here,' Izzie slid in the room followed by George.

'I have a meeting with the nursing home at three but my shift starts at five, if I'm not there will you explain to Bailey and Chief?'

'Yeah, what's up?'

'My mom's got violent towards the other residential and they want to talk about her medication, it's nothing major but it is important so can you explain to them?'

'Yeah sure, you want somebody with you?'

'No it's ok thanks anyway,' Izzie left George standing in the doorway

'Mere, if you want me to come with you I don't mind?'

'No it's ok George, thanks anyway,' Meredith flopped back on the bed and sighed. This was not what she needed.


	3. Baby Powder

Derek pulled up outside the Victorian hose and locked the car. He hadn't been here in years but it was still the same, the smell of baby powder filling his senses. Walking up to the large doors he pressed the buzzer and waited for a reply.

'Dr Shepherd, long time no see,'

'Yeah, I know but it won't be from now on in,'

'Come on in,'

The large door opened and Derek stepped into a large, well lit room filled with chairs and flowers. A large fish tank sat at the opposite end of the room.

'Derek, how long has it been now, eleven years?'

'Yeah, Simone, but I will be here a lot more often; I have a very special reason to be here,'

'Oh, enlighten me?'

'Well…I need a token for my girlfriend, and a bracelet too but I want the token in a few days, but the bracelet as soon as possible, today or tomorrow,'

'No problem, we'll sort the bracelet out first then, follow me,' Derek was lead into a small side room where a large box was brought out. There were rows of bracelets, all different, with different coloured stones.

'I need one with green stones but I need it to be well fitting,'

'What do you think of this one?'

'No, it needs to be delicate but strong,'

'This one?'

'No,'

'Give me two minutes,' Simone got up and left Derek going through to a side room where she pulled two boxes out.

'Derek, what do you think about this one?'

'Perfect,' it was a thin gold bracelet with green stones, it was simple but stunning. Derek picked it up and held it against his hand.

'I'll take it,'

'Ok, I'll get it boxed; now this 'token' you want?'

'Yeah, it's got to be extra special, like the best you have got,'

'Wait here,'

Derek was finished ten minutes later.

'I'll be back, on Friday to get it,'

'It will be ready Dr Shepherd,'

'See you then,' Derek took the bracelet and headed back out to the car. Lifting the box and putting it in his jacket pocket he headed off in the direction of the trailer only to be delayed by a nagging feeling. Derek pulled his pager out. It was receiving a message.

'I must be ficking telepathic,' expecting the number of the hospital to show up he was surprised to see who it was.

'Addison…' Derek through the pager on the seat and kept going to the trailer. As he pulled in Meredith was getting out of her car.

'Hey, where have you been?'

'I went home, I've got to go to the home for my mom, I've got a meeting at three,'

'What for?

'Apparently my moms being violent so they want to talk about her meds,'

'Anybody going with you?'

'No, it's ok. Where were you, mr mysterious?'

'I had to go and pick some stuff up, let's get in the trailer and I'll let you see,' Meredith climbed in and took her bag off. She was dieing for some coffee, she had only had one and needed two just to function. Pouring her and Derek a cup, she sat on the bed. She crossed her legs and leaned against the head board.

'You ok?'

'Yeah, why?'

'You seem distant,'

'Addison paged me when I was driving, I dunno what she wants,'

'Let her be, what did you want to show me?'

Derek pulled the box out his pocket and sat next to Meredith on the bed.

'If you don't like it I can take it back,' Derek handed her the box and took her coffee cup off of her. Opening the box carefully, she peeled the box lid open slowly.

'Derek…' She was taken aback by what he had given her. The gold bracelet sparkled as she took it out the box and put it on. The smile on her face was huge. Turning round she started kissing Derek passionately.

'I'm…guessing…you…like…the…bracelet?'

'It's beautiful,' Meredith wrapped her arms around Derek and sat staring at her bracelet.

'I love you,'

'I love you too. I know you probably don't want to here this but I'm sorry about what happened with Addison and everything to do with her,'

'Derek, it's ok, I know why you did what you did. Let's leave it at that,'

'Ok but I have to start getting ready for work; I've got surgery at four so I need to be in by two thirty,'

'What time Is it?'

'Just hitting 2,'

'I need to get ready as well, remember I've got that meeting, but I want to see my mom for ten minutes before hand so I need to leave here in fifteen minutes to get there on time,' Meredith stood up and fixed her hair again. Stopping to admire her bracelet she turned to face Derek who was throwing his pager, key, phone and bottle of water in his bag. Meredith wrapped her arms around his waist.

'I love you so much,' Derek pulled Meredith round and Kissed her on the forehead.

'I love you too but I have to go and so do you,'

'I'll see you at work, love you, be careful,'

'See you later mere, love you,' Derek left Meredith standing in the trailer. She didn't know what to do with herself. Lifting her jacket she left the trailer and headed to the home.

'Mom can put up with me for a bit longer,' Pulling up outside the home she took a deep breath in. 'Here goes nothing,' Lifting her bag she glimpsed at the bracelet and found a sense of comfort from it. The home was light and airey, not quite what you'd expect. It was clean and inviting. Meredith mothers room was at the end of the hall. Ellis Grey was sitting staring out the window.

'Meredith, I told you to go to school,'

'Mom?'

'Meredith?'

'Mommy'

'Meredith, you grew up,'

'I did, how are you feeling?'

'I'm fine, I've got a few surgeries later on this afternoon but they won't take long,'

'Ok, I'm going to go and get a drink, you want anything?'

'No thank you,' Meredith went along to the main reception.

'Hi, I know I'm early but I have a meeting with Morgan Heaton at three o'clock,'

'Oh yeah, Dr Grey right?' Meredith nodded her head

'Follow me, she's waiting for you,' Meredith was lead up to the main office where a small chubby woman was sitting. She looked to be about forty odds. She was smartly dressed and looked immaculate.

'Dr Grey, hi, take a seat please,'

'Thank you. So you wanted to discuss me mom,'

'Yes. The other day your mother got very violent with a member of our team and she had to be restrained and,' Meredith cut her off.

'What do you mean restrained?'

'She had to be held down so we could sedate her,'

'No, it's in her records that she is not to be sedated at all. It was strained heavily that she was not to be sedated.'

'Dr Grey we had to sedate your mother so that she would calm down. She was risking her own safety as well as the other residents here,'

'She is not to be sedated in the future; I want to make that clear. No matter what is happening she is not to be sedated. I am to be phoned, any time,'

'Ok, that will be noted. Dr Grey it is not the only time she has become violent. She attacked another resident with a porcelain cup and could of caused the resident some severe injuries,'

'Ok, why wasn't I called?'

'It was late…it was about eight thirty at night and she calmed down almost instantly,'

'I want to be called when anything like that happens again. Now you wanted to talk about her meds being altered?'

'Yes her G.P has contacted us and has review her meds. She is to be put on Drytoximan to try and keep her calm,'

'Ok, is there anything else?'

'No that's all,'

'Ok, I want what has been said to be noted, and I want all members of staff to know that she is not to be sedated and I will inform you of any changes on this ok?'

'Yes Dr Grey, that you for coming out today,'

'no problem, I need to go to work, thanks,' Meredith looked in on her mother quickly before she left for the hospital. It was quarter past three and she had to be there by four. Jumping in the car she smiled at her mobile. Derel had sent her a text.

_Love you more than life itself, hope your meeting went ok, see you at work, drive carefully Love Derek_

It was small things like the text that made Meredith see why she loved Derek so much. Pulling into the hospital car park, she pulled up beside his car. Izzie was standing outside. A guy was running inside past Izzie.

'Hey Izzie,'

'Hey how are you?'

'Am ok, you?'

'I'm really good,' Meredith took her jacket off.

'Jesus Meredith where did you get the bracelet from?'

'Ah…I need to tell you something,'

'What is it?'

'Me and Derek are back together,'

'Are you happy?'

'Izzie, I am on top of the world, he makes me feel amazing,'

'Well congratulations then. So he bought you the bracelet then?'

'Yeah, I'm just back from the nursing home,'

'Oh how did it go?'

'It turns to that they sedated my mom the other night. I told them she was not to be sedated, and that was to be called,'

'Fair enough, come on I'm freezing,' Izzie linked arms with Meredith and the two girls walked in to the hospital to be greeted by a sight that made Meredith's face go white.


	4. Ferryboats Fix Everything

Derek stood deadly still as the cold metal pressed against his neck. Everyone was standing watching as the young terrified man pulled Derek over to the wall.

'Get me the head guy,'

'You've got him,' Derek replied calmly hoping the guy hadn't noticed the lie in his voice.

'Right then, me and you have got to catch up. Don't remember me?'

'No, why should I?' For somebody with a knife at their neck Derek was being really sarcastic.

'You murdered my brother, Adam Hutton. He had a head ache for a few days and when he came in here he never left cause you bastards made him have an operation. He died on the table,'

'Listen, your brother would of died anyway. We tried to save him,'

'Don't push your luck, I'm in control,'

'What's your name?'

'Why?'

'Cause I don't like not knowing the name of a person I'm talking to when they have a knife at my throat,'

'Paul,'

'Ok Paul, listen I'm Derek, You want to talk?'

'No, I want revenge fro my brothers' death,'

'How are you going to get revenge for your brothers' death if you don't know who to get?'

'Fine but not here,' Derek turned and took Paul along to an Exam room. Closing the door and locking it, Derek sat on the bed.

'Tell me about your brother,'

'He was my wee brother. I did everything for him. He had a headache and came in cause it wasn't going away. You'd said he had an aneurysm and that he needed an operation. He never came back out. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!'

'Your brothers aneurysm could of ruptured and when that happens it becomes impossible to fix. What was the name of the doctor that treated your brother?'

'He said he was the chief,' Derek closed his eyes. It was him. He remembered the guy now. Adam was 18 and his whole life in front of him. Derek had tried o stop the bleeding but it was too far gone. He didn't have a hope of surviving if they had tried to remove it. Derek listened to the rhythmic moving of Paul walking up and down the room.

'He was only 18, my baby brother,' Paul leaned against the floor and slid down it, crying into himself. Derek walked over and sat next to him.

'I know how you feel,'

'How could you?'

'I lost my brother as well. He was four years old. He said he had a sore arm. We all thought nothing of it. The next day I woke up to be told he had died during the night because of a blood clot in his heart. It had started in his arm,' Derek bowed his head at the thought of his brother.

'I'm sorry,'

'If you give me the knife, we'll walk out here together,' Derek offered his hand over to Paul, his hand steady. The fear was fleeting in and out his head. Paul's hand trembled as he handed the knife over to Derek. He stood up and put the knife in the bin.

'Come on,' Derek helped Paul up and the two walked over to the door.

'You go on, I'll stay in here, go and get somebody to come and get me,'

'Paul, come with me,'

'No, you go ahead,'

'Promise me you won't do anything stupid, come with me,'

'NO, leave me here,' Derek opened the door. As the door closed Paul shut his eyes. There was only one option for him now. Walking over to the window he looked out.

'I'm sorry,' Opening the window he took his jacket off. Looking to the door he took a deep breath in.

'Adam, I'm coming,'

Derek was standing hold Meredith tightly against his chest. He wasn't thinking anything except that he was glad it was over. Nobody had rushed in the room.

'Derek…are you ok?'

'Yeah, mere I'm ok. I need to go and get him,'

Derek, leave him, security are on there way,'

'He won't hurt…' Derek was cut short by the sound of a thud. Running into the room he looked around the room, until he spotted the window wide open.

'NO!' Derek ran over to the window and looked down. Paul's body lay on the ground, mangled. Derek ran out the room followed by Meredith outside to Paul's body. Blood was running out of his head. He was dead.

'No,' Derek sat on the ground and let a single tear fall from his eye. Lifting Paul he carried him into the hospital onto a bed. Bailey started pushing the trolley as Derek stood in the middle of the hall.

'Derek, come on,' Meredith took hold of his hand but he stood unresponsive.

'Derek, you couldn't of done anything,'

'I should of stayed with him,'

'No, he attacked you, held a knife at your throat,'

'His brother died of an aneurysm, I was his doctor,'

'Derek, please, come with me,' Walking past Meredith he headed into the locker room, emptying his locker, he headed for the front door.

'I'll see you later,' His face was emotionless. He walked out the door and into his car. Putting his hands on the steering wheel he felt the sadness rising out his body. He let it go. The tears fell and hit the steering wheel. Meredith had followed him out and was standing watching him through the windscreen. She couldn't take it any longer. Walking over she opened the door to the drivers' side. He turned and looked at her. He turned to face her. Wrapping her arms around her he began sobbing louder.

'It's ok, I'm here, it's ok'

Nothing she said or did was soothing him. He just kept cry but it was for a number of things. The fact Paul had taken his own life, that fact he thought he wasn't going to see Meredith again but the fact he remembered about his brother. The day he complained about his arm and the day he died were running through his head.

'_Derek, can you got get mom, my arm hurts,'_

'_Kevin, it's the way you've been lying, it'll be fine in the morning,'_

'_No Derek, it really hurts,' Derek climbed out of his bed and went over. Feeling his arm he sighed._

'_It's not broken. You'll be fine tomorrow,' _

'_Night Derek,'_

'_Night Kevin,'_

_Derek tossed and turned in his bed, unable to settle the entire night._

'_Kevin…Kevin…KEVIN…KEVIN!'_

_The shrieks of Derek's mother made his eyes spring open._

'_Derek get an ambulance!' Derek ran out and phoned. Staying in the living room he listened as his mother sobs became louder. _

_His sister carol was sitting holding his other sister Karen. She turned to Derek. His oldest sister Lindsey was sitting cuddling Derek when their father came in. His face was as white as a sheet. Derek jumped down off Lindsey and walked over to his father._

'_Where's Kevin?'_

'_He's…gone to sleep.' Lindsey let out a small groan as did carol._

'_Is he ok?'_

'_Derek, Kevin's dead,' Lindsey spat out the words. Derek felt sick. Running along to his room his mother was sitting cradling her son. _

'_Mom?' His mother stopped rocking back and forward and looked up at Derek. Her face was tears stained and white. _

'_Why is Kevin not moving?'_

'_He's dead…' His mother broke down into sobs and began rocking back and forward. Derek didn't believe them. He sat next to his mother and touched his brothers' body. It was cold and semi stiff. It was the last time he ever saw his brother. _

After and hour Derek was sitting in the passenger seat, holding his head in his hands. Meredith was driving to the harbour, a place where she knew Derek would ease up. Pulling in she unbuckled her belt and turned to face him.

'Talk to me Der,'

'My brother…I told him about my brother,'

'Derek you don't have a brother, you've got three sisters but not a brother,'

'He was four. It was a blood clot to his heart that killed him,' Derek took a deep breath in. He had never told anyone about him.

'I said he would be fine and the next day he was dead,'

'Come on,' Meredith got out the car and hired a ferryboat, something she knew Derek couldn't run away from. Getting out to the middle of the water she held him against her chest. They just lay on the boat, silently, waiting for a solution to his problems that they knew wouldn't come.


	5. Hair Dryers and Sore Faces

Meredith woke up to see Derek sitting watching her sleep.

'Hey,' her voice was groggy.

'Morning beautiful,'

'How you feeling?'

'I'm ok,'

'What time did you get up at?'

'Nine,'

'Come back to bed,' Meredith lifted the duvet as Derek climbed back under. Kissing his lips she sunk back down and leaned against his chest.

'You working today Mer?'

'No, I'm on holiday for the next two weeks but I'm on call for half of next week, you?'

'All my surgeries got shifted, if they could or the chief took them. I got the next two weeks off as well but I'm not on call,'

'So what do you want to do?'

'Just now?'

'Yeah,'

'Stay in bed with you,' Meredith turned so that she was on top of Derek.

'I think I can cope with that,' Meredith eased herself down on top of him and kissed his neck and face. His hands roamed her body. Pulling the sheets over their heads, Derek pulled Meredith down on top of him.

'Promise me something Mer?'

'Yeah,'

'That you won't ever leave me,'

'Derek, I promise, I wouldn't want to leave you anyway,' Meredith and Derek stayed in the bed the rest of the morning and only appeared for coffee. Izzie was standing in the kitchen baking.

'How's Derek?'

'He seems ok, but I'm not sure,'

'He'll be ok Mere, he's got you,'

'Yeah, can I have coffee?'

'Yeah, I just made some,' Meredith lifted the two mugs and headed back up to the room. Derek was lying in bed with his back to the window.

'Hey,' He sat up and took the cup off Meredith.

'Thanks,'

'So what do you want to do today?'

'I don't know, what are you up for?'

'We'll I'm going for a shower…' Meredith bit her lip seductively as she got up from the bad and headed to the bathroom. Derek climbed across the bed and walked over to the door frame where Meredith was standing, her arms leaning against each side of the frame. Putting his hands on her waist she wrapped her legs around her waist as he carried her into the bath room, kicking the door shut as he did. Derek lifted Meredith's top off and caressed her back. Leaning back against the sink Meredith stood up and turned the shower on. Stepping She faced the wall. Derek stepped in behind her and turned her round.

Izzie heard Meredith laughing upstairs. Smiling to herself she started laughing. George walked in with a pillow covering his ears.

'Why are they so noisy?'

'Cause their in love,' was all Izzie said to make George stop complaining.

An hour later they came down the stairs laughing and joking.

'Izzie can I borrow your hair dryer?'

'Yeah, on you go,'

'I won't be long,' Meredith kissed Derek and ran up the stairs. Derek stood up and lifted a bowl and poured some muesli into it. Sitting down he started eating when he noticed Izzie was standing at the sink, he hands resting in the water, with tears running down her face.

'Izzie, what's wrong?' Derek stood up and walked over to her, turning her to face him. Her make up was running but it wasn't what Derek expected to see.

'Izzie, what happened?'

'Nothing, I'm fine, honestly,'

'Izzie don't lie, what happened?'

'I walked into a door,'

'Yeah right ok,' Derek guided her over to the bar stool and sat her down.

'Derek, I'm fine,'

'I don't care, just let me have a look,' Derek got kitchen towel and dampened it. Wiping Izzie's face, he began to see the size of the bruise.

'Jesus…Izzie,'

'Look, I'm fine…no need to mention it to anyone, I was just clumsy,' Izzie stood up and brushed past Derek, running up the stairs. Derek listened as the bathroom door banged shut and Izzie began sobbing. Meredith ran down the stairs.

'What the hell happened?'

'Go and see her, I'll tell you later,' Meredith ran back upstairs. George came in the kitchen and spotted Derek putting the towel in the bin.

'You seen the bruise then?'

'You Knew?'

'She says she walked into a door. I can't do anything about it though. She doesn't want Meredith to know,'

'George is Izzie seeing anyone just now?'

'There was a guy she met in Joes. She seen him once or twice but she hasn't mentioned him in a couple of days, you think he did it?'

'I don't know, do you know his name?'

'It was something that began with an M, his last name was Slane or something,' Derek tensed up.

'Mark Slone?'

'Yeah, that it, you know him?'

'He's the guy why slept with Addison and the guy that Addison is with,'

'Oh shit,'

'Yeah, tell Meredith I'll be back later,' Derek threw the bowl in the sink and lifted his keys from the table in the hall. Leaving the house a feeling of dread filled his body.

'_She paged me yesterday…what if he done something?' _ Derek pulled out the drive way and lifted his phone.

'Addison?'

'Derek, I can't talk, not now,'

'Where are you?'

'I'm at the hotel, please, I'll phone you later,'

'No, what's happening?'

'Derek, leave it,' Addison hung up. Derek pulled up outside the hotel and ran inside.

'I need to know what room Addison Shepherd is in.'

'We don't have a Shepherd,'

'Montgomery then?'

'Room 241,'

'Thanks,'

Derek ran up the stairs to hear shouting coming from the room.

'Addison, you're a stupid bitch,' Addison screamed after a loud thump was heard. Derek knocked the door. Mark answered the door. Looking over Marks shoulder, he spotted Addison lying on the floor.

'Mark…' Derek pushed past him and went over beside Addison, her lip was bleeding.

'Addison, get your stuff,' Derek whispered in her ear. Helping her up, she walked over to the bed.

'Mark, what the hell is wrong with you?'

'She's a stupid bitch?'

'She hasn't done anything!'

'She was talking to you!'

'I'm her ex husband, we are allowed to talk! You don't lay a finger on her! You don't have the right!' Derek threw his hand out and caught mark on the face.

'Mark, just go…leave everyone and just go, back to New York,' Derek turned back to Addison who was standing throwing cloths in a bag.

'Why did you come here?'

'I seen Izzie's face and realised what he had done. I remembered that you paged me the other day,'

'He had thrown me across the room. I couldn't get up…I'm sorry,' Addison broke down into sobs. Derek pulled her into his chest and held her close.

'Collect everything. I need to make a phone call, I'll be right outside ok? He won't come back,' Derek stood outside the hotel room and phoned Meredith.

'Mere, it's me'

'Where are you?'

'I'll explain later…is Izzie ok?'

'Yeah, Derek what's going on?'

'Mark's in Seattle…if he comes to the door don't let him in…I need you to do something for me,'

'What?'

'I need to bring Addison there,'

'Derek, what's going on?'

'You'll see when I get there, please Mer…'

'Yeah, fine, I'll go tell George and Izzie,'

'Thanks Mere, love you,'

'Love you too,' Derek hung up and went back in the room. Addison was standing, looking frail at the cupboard full of his clothes.

'Addison, come on,' Derek lifted her bags and put them in the back of the car. She was paying the hotel when she felt dizzy. Holding onto the counter, she brushed the feeling off and got in the car beside Derek.

'You ok?'

'Yeah…and Derek?'

'Mmmmhmm,'

'Thanks,'

'It's ok Addison. Just hold tight and I'll have you out of here,' Derek pulled out the hotels parking lot and turned in the direction of Meredith's house.


	6. Trees Are Green, Red Roses Too

Izzie was sitting on the bathroom floor, rocking back and forward. Her face was sore and she couldn't block it out. Opening the door she spotted Meredith coming up the stairs.

'Mere?'

'Izzie, what happened?' Meredith came down to Izzie level and pulled her in for a hug.

'His name was Mark…I really liked him. He said he wanted to see more of me. So we did but the last time he seen me he said he thought I was worthless…another mark on his bed post. I said he was a bastard when he turned…' Izzie started sobbing into Meredith's neck.

'Izzie, it's ok. Come on in here,' Meredith helped Izzie down into the Kitchen. Sitting her up on the bar stool she poured her a coffee.

'It's ok, he's not going to hurt you anymore…I promise,' Meredith was standing talking to Izzie when she heard a car pull up outside.

'I'll be two minutes ok?'

'Yeah,' Meredith went into the hall and closed the kitchen door. Derek opened the door, helping Addison in the house.

'My god…' Meredith walked over and wrapped her arms around Addison. Addison was surprised but then realised that it was exactly what she needed. Leading her into the living room she put a blanket over Addison.

'I'll be back in a minute,' Meredith lead Derek out to the hall.

'What happened?'

'I left here and I phoned her. She seemed upset so I went to the hotel to hear Mark calling her a stupid bitch and them punching her. I couldn't leave her there mere.'

'Derek, its fine. I would have done the same. I'm glad you brought her here. She needs support.'

'Mere, I love you so much,'

'I love you too,' Derek and Meredith kissed, their hands holding each other close, when they heard a bang. Walking into the living room they spotted Addison on the floor.

'Derek!' Derek ran round ad picked her up, placing her back on the couch. Her head was clammy and she was unconscious.

'Mere, phone and ambulance,' Derek was trying to walk Addison up.

'It won't be long…Derek what wrong?'

'I don't know…She…I don't know…' Two paramedics ran in and walked straight over to Derek.

'What's her name?'

'Addison Montgomery,'

'Shepherd,' Meredith added. Derek looked up. She nodded in recognition.

'Ok lets get her into hospital,' Addison was wheeled out the house and into the ambulance.

'I'll follow in the car, Derek, you go with her, she'll want you with her,'

'Thanks Mer,'

'Love you,'

'Love you too,' Derek jumped in the back as the doors were closed.

'Please god let her be ok,' was all Meredith could think as she stepped back in the house to grab her coat. Looking around she remembered that Izzie was in the kitchen. Pushing the door open she was surprised to see George and Izzie baking together.

'Hey, you feeling better?'

'Is Addison ok?'

'I don't know I'm going to the hospital just now. Phone if you's need anything.'

'Bye mere,' Meredith pulled out the drive way in Derek's car. Pressing the radio on she was greeted by the sound of The Who.

'_I see trees are green, red roses too_

_I see them true, for me and you_

_And I think to myself_

_What a wonderful world'_

Meredith smiled at the song choice. Trust Derek to have the wrong music for the wrong situation. She smiled to herself as she pulled into the hospital car park. It had been only yesterday that she had been comforting Derek over the death of his brother in the same space but now she was going to see if his ex wife was ok. Life was going in weird circles. Derek was standing outside hospital room 657.

'Hey babe, is she ok?'

'I don't know…I don't know. Burke is checking her over now,'

'she'll be ok…she's strong,'

'thanks, not just for now but for being cool with Addison,'

'Derek, she's your ex wife who I happen to respect. Although you would think that we hate each other we don't,'

'Thanks' Derek pushed open her door and went inside to sit next to her. Meredith watched as Derek held Addison's hand. She din't mind. Addison had been through a lot and she needed as many people around her as possible, and Meredith was going to be one of those people. Derek loved Addison and Meredith knew it but she knew that it was a different type of love than the type she and he had. Going into the room she looked at Addison. She was still unconscious.

'Their running the usual tests. It could be nothing, just stress on her body,'

'She'll be ok,' Meredith sat down next to Derek and put her hand on his knee. Her hand made him feel secure. He trusted Meredith with everything and she knew it too.


	7. Not Just Anybody

Addison woke up to the feeling of somebody holding her hand. But it wasn't just somebody. It was Derek. Opening her eyes, everything was blurry. Squinting her eyes she began to realise where she was. Turning her head she started coughing. Derek's eyes shot open, so did Meredith's.

'Hey, how you feeling?'

'Like I've been hit with a bus, what happened?'

'You were in the living room at Meredith's and you must of stood up cause you collapsed on the floor,'

'What did they say is wrong?'

'They don't know, their running the usual tests, but they don't know,'

'Have they looked up my medical history?'

'No, why would they?'

'I know what caused it,'

'Addison, what?'

'Derek, promise me something,'

'Addison, what is it?'

'You won't start your superman act,'

'Yeah, fine. What's wrong?'

'I've got a cerebral tumour, glioblastoma multiforme' Derek closed his eyes to stop the tears forming.

'It's too advanced to cure and surgery is not an option. I'm on mannitol and getting radiation but it's too far gone to clear up.'

'How long have you known?'

'Two weeks,' Derek let go of Addison hand and left the room. Meredith moved up and took hold of Addison's hand.

'Why didn't you tell him Addison?'

'And say what "oh hi Derek guess what, I'm dying," yeah that would go down well,'

'You just told him there,'

'And look what happened,'

'Addison, he still loves you, you need help now. Let him help you. Let him do his superman act. You know he want to put those tights on again,' Addison laughed. It was the first time she had laughed in months.

'I'm going to go and see if I can find Derek, I won't be long,'

'Tell him I'm sorry,' Meredith squeezed Addison's hand and left her. The corridors were almost empty. It was different from the usual busyness of the OR and trauma. Meredith was rarely up on level six. Always level four. Looking in all the rooms it was only when she started walking towards the elevator that she realised where he was. Pressing to go down to the third floor she could sense he was down here. It was his safe haven, where he went when a patient died or when things got too much. She had showed him her special place before Addison arrived and he had adopted it as well. Pushing the door open, she looked down to see him sitting on the floor. His body was shaking with sobs. Meredith walked over and knelt in front of him. Nurses and Doctors passed them but nobody dared interrupt them.

'Derek…look at me,' He kept his head down, not wanting her to see that he had been crying.

'Derek, look at me'

'DEREK, look at me,' Derek raised his head and looked into Meredith's eyes. Her eyes were caring and soothing.

'She says she's sorry for not telling you, but you need to understand where she is coming from. You guys only got divorced a few day's ago and yeah you's were together when she found out but maybe she was worried that you would leave her. Listen to what she has to say. Me and Addison might not have gotten on at first but that was because of the circumstances that we met. I understand why she didn't tell you. Derek, you need to be strong for her. She might even let you do the superman act,'

'She's seriously sick Meredith, she should of told me,'

'Yeah she should of told you but I don't think it's hit her yet. Give her chance and come back with me and see her, be there for her,' Derek stood up and straightened his shirt. The ride in the elevator seemed long and drawn out. Derek was dreading seeing Addison, all he could think of was how long that she had left.

Addison was lying counting the tiles on the ceiling.

'Thirty three tile,' Addison looked up to see his face in the door way.

'What the hell are you doing here?'

'I came to see if you were ok?'

'I'm fine, please leave, just go,'

'Now why would you tell the person you love to go away?'

'Mark please, just go,'

'No, I'm staying, just for a few minutes anyway,'

Derek stood at the end of the corridor. Meredith looked at him, his eyes red and swollen from his tears.

'I'll be along in a minute, go and see her,'

'Promise you'll come and see her,'

'Yeah, just give me a minute,' Meredith walked back along to wards Addison's room when she spotted him standing over Addison. Running into the room she pressed the code button.

'What the hell are you doing here? Get away from her!'

'Stay out of this Grey; it has nothing to do with you,'

'Mark get away from her,' Derek came running down the hall and spotted Mark standing and Meredith shouting at him. Walking up behind Meredith he spotted Addison, her face red. Derek pushed Meredith gently to the side and walked over in front of Mark.

'Get away from her,' Derek was grinding his teeth in anger.

'Why do you care?'

'I may not be with her but I still love her so get away from her now,' Mark started laughing.

'You expect me to leave her just because you tell me to?' Derek's temper broke and his hand made a fist and knocked Mark off his feet. As he fell his head hit the side of the bed, knocking him unconscious.

'Shit,' Derek started shaking his hand. He had caught mark on the cheek bone and his hand was throbbing. The code team ran in and stood watching Derek breathing heavily as Meredith sat on the bed next to Addison.

'Is she ok? We got a code blue for this room?'

'Yeah, but get him out of here and down to trauma, call Bailey to deal with him,' Derek sat on the chair next to Addison and looked her in the eyes.

'Thank you,'

'Hey, next time we'll call the brute squad,'

'There won't be a next time,' Addison arched her back and put her hand on her head. Pain was shooting through her head.

'Addison…' Derek stood up and lowered the bed. Meredith flashed the torch in her eyes.

'Her right pupil is blown, we need to get her down to surgery now Derek,' two nurses ran in.

'Book an OR and page the Chief, he'd want to know, and lets get her down there now,' Derek started wheeling the gurney when Addison's heart monitor started beeping.

'Cold Blue…CODE BLUE!' Derek lowered the bars on the bed and started CPR on Addison. He was panicking.

'DEREK, MOVE!'

'Charge 200, CLEAR!' Addison's back arched as the watts shot through her body.

'There's still no heart beat, Charge again, 300, CLEAR,' Meredith shocked Addison but her heart still didn't start.

Charge 360, CLEAR,' Derek looked at the monitor. His face went white.


	8. I hope your right

Meredith looked up to the monitor.

'I see sinus rhythm, get her to the OR now,' Derek let out a breath that he had been holding, unknowingly. Running with gurney he started to panic. Addison was prepped for surgery. Meredith refused to leave her side and got scrubbed in with Derek. His hands were steady as rocks as he opened Addison up. Looking down to her head he could finally see the extent of the cerebral tumour. It was spread further across the cerebellum. That wasn't his main concern. The pressure in her brain was dangerously fatally high. Derek repaired a small leak and left Addison's skull flap off. Meredith watched as Derek performed the surgery, making sure that he was fit to keep going. After the surgery Addison was taken up to ICU. Meredith and Derek were scrubbing down when Derek's hands fell into the sink as his emotions overtook him. Meredith watched as he broke down.

'She can't have more than a few weeks to live. I…I can't believe it.'

'Derek, you just saved her life.'

'But she's still going to die,'

'But you just helped her live longer,'

'What a few weeks?'

'Derek, are you hearing yourself?' You wish you had just let her die? She may only have a few weeks but we can both help make them the best weeks she could ever have. We'll stay with her till the end,' Meredith was surprising herself in what she was saying. The other day she was telling Derek just to let her be. Now she was telling him to stay by her side.

'Meredith, she's going to be in so much pain and suffering. She may not even make it through the next forty eight hours. She's on her own; she'll be living in a hospital,'

'No, she won't'

'Yes she will. She has no where to live but a hotel and I sold the trailer so she can't even stay there,' Derek dried his arms and ran his hands over his stubble and in his hair.

'She can stay with us,' Derek turned to face Meredith. She was deadly serious.

'Meredith, you don't need to do this,'

'I know I don't but I want to. You loved her once and still do. I can see in your eyes that this is killing you inside. Your eyes have lost their sparkle. The past few days have been rough on you. Paul…Kevin, it has all taken it's toll. Addison needs people around her. We can all work out or schedules so somebody is always with her. There's enough room at my house for her to move in,' Derek began to think it over.

'You do know that Izzie would have a ball to herself, she loves to look after people and Addison would never be alone,'

'Meredith, I don't know what to say,'

'Nothing except that you tell her when she comes round,' Derek smiled. This was one of the reasons that he loved her. She was putting all her personal feelings aside. Derek knew that Addison moving in was the best thing for her but he also wasn't sure how Meredith would cope with seeing Addison in her home, in amongst her personal things, her safe haven from the world. Derek pulled Meredith over in front of his chest and pulled her in close. He kissed her, feeling her tiny ineffectual fists on his face. She pulled away and smiled.

'I love you so much,'

'Not as much as I love you mere,' the scrub room door flew open and Bailey walked in.

'What the hell happened with Mark Slone?'

'Oh, how is the bastard?' Derek looked at Meredith and laughed. She was a hard nut when it came to something like Mark.

'He's got a fractured cheek bone. What the hell did you hit him with? A vase?'

Meredith looked at Derek's hand.

'No, my fist,' Baileys eyes shot open.

'You can throw a punch. How's Addison?' Derek took his scrub cap off and left the scrub room. Bailey watched as Derek left.

'Miranda, she's got a cerebral tumour, glioblastoma multiforme. It's un- operable. It's killing Derek. She was bleeding into her brain and her ICP went sky high. Derek's left her skull cap off. She got a few weeks left.' Miranda put her hands over her face.

'I'll be god damned. When did she find out?'

'Two weeks ago. She was worried Derek would leave, she only told him about six hours ago.'

'What's happening once she gets discharged? She going into a home?'

'No, she's moving in with me and Derek at the house. She's eventually going to need twenty four hour care.'

'You think you can handle it?'

'I need to…for Derek's sake.'

'Meredith, you're one hell of a person.' Miranda left Meredith in the scrub room to finish changing. Derek was sitting with Addison, watching her breathing.

'Addie, I don't know if you can hear me or not. I'd like to think you can. I seen the tumour. It's advanced a lot since your last scan. I was talking to Meredith. She wants you to move in, with us. It might be a bit awkward but you would do the same. You know that you can't be on your own anymore. You need support Addie, no more being on your own. We're here for you, both of us and we're not going anywhere. I still have a soft spot for you in my heart Addie. I love Meredith with all my heart but you'll always have a space,' Meredith stood at the door and listened to everything Derek had said. It made her smile.

'I think she heard every word,' Derek turned and looked at Meredith.

'How long do you think she'll be out of it?'

'It should be about an hour, but I don't know because of the tumour,'

'She will pull through this Derek; you have got to believe it,'

'I don't want her to suffer…she's going to. I don't think I can watch her suffer,'

'Derek you need to be strong for her. She won't suffer if we support her and help her. We can give her morphine, pethidine or even Methadone. She won't be in pain,'

'Meredith, Addison hates asking for help. She's very independent. She wont say she's in pain until it's unbearable,'

'Well, she just has to get over that because she's going to be getting a lot of help from everybody around her. If she's in pain we can give her a PCP pump. Derek, she won't suffer,' Meredith sat next to Derek and took hold of his hand.

'You should go home and tell Izzie and George what's happening,'

'Derek, I'm staying right here,'

'Thank you, for everything,'

'Derek, you mean the world to me and I would do anything for you,' Derek pulled her in towards his chest and let out a deep sigh.

'She'll be ok,'

'I hope your right,'


	9. It's Mark

It was two weeks since Addison had told Derek about the tumour and she was getting out of hospital. Derek knew better than anybody that she only had weeks to live. Izzie and Meredith had been setting up the spare bedroom for Addison, borrowing a PCP pump from the hospital so she wasn't in pain towards the end and didn't need to go back into hospital. Derek had spent most of his free time with Addison. Meredith liked to watch as the sat and talked, laughing about the memories that they had together.

'Hey, you ready to go home?' Addison swung her legs round to the side of the bed.

'Yeah and Meredith?'

'Yeah,'

'Thank you, for everything,'

'Addison, I'm sure you wouldn't of left me on my own. You mean a lot to Derek, and me, I wouldn't have it any other way,' Addison climbed into the wheelchair as Meredith sneaked her out the hospital. Addison didn't want anybody to see her in her fragile state. The usually perfect looking woman was now a shadow of her former self. Her hair was scraped back, her body thin, white faced and gaunt looking. Her usual style of black high hells and skirts was gone and tracksuits and trainers now dominated her look. She appreciated what everyone was doing and knew what was happening to her. Meredith helped Addison into the car.

'I'll go put this in the boot,' Meredith folded the wheelchair up and placed it in the back of the car. Pulling out of the hospital she turned to face Addison.

'You need anything?'

'No, thanks,' Meredith drove slowly, knowing Addison was taking everything in. Getting out the car and up the stairs was like a marathon to Addison. Slowly sitting on the couch she let out a sigh.

'You ok?'

'I feel like I've just climbed Mount Everest.' Addison started laughing but it turned into a coughing fit.

'Lets get you up into bed,' Meredith remembered about the stairs.

'Give me a few minutes,' Meredith lifted the phone and phoned Derek.

'Dr Shepherds phone,'

'Is Dr Shepherd there?'

'He's in surgery, is it urgent?' Meredith could here Derek talking in the background.

'Meredith, what's wrong?' Derek sounded stressed on the phone.

'There's nothing wrong, I'll phone Alex. I just needed somebody to get Addison up the stairs,'

'I won't be finished for another thirty minutes or so,'

'It's ok, she's fine, I'll give Alex a phone, I know he's not working, love you'

'You too mere,' the phone line went dead and Meredith phoned Alex.

'Alex, you busy?'

'Nope, I'm at the store. What's up?'

'Can you come over? I need to get Addison up the stairs but I can't get her up them on my own,'

'Give ten minutes and I'll be there,'

'Thanks Alex,' Meredith put the phone down and went into the living room. Addison was fast asleep on the couch. Meredith lifted a blanket over her and left her to go and make coffee. Standing in the kitchen she began to think over how this was going to work. When Addison was up the stairs with Meredith on her own, there was no way for her to get down. She couldn't keep phoning Alex or Derek to come and help. Meredith contemplated it when the door went. Creeping past the living room door she spotted Alex's car outside.

'Hey, she's sleeping in the living room. I wouldn't have called but Derek was in surgery,'

'Hey, it's ok, I'm happy to help. If you need anything else in the future, give me a call. I want to help,' Meredith took Alex's jacket off him and took him into the kitchen.

'You want some coffee?'

'Yeah thanks. How's she been?'

'I got her up the stairs to the living room but she was so out of breath. It's taking hold of her already,'

'She going to be ok, she's got you and Derek, and all of us,' Meredith was surprised at what Alex had said. Since everything with Addison kicked off he had been great, keeping and eye out for mark, checking to see if she needed anything, sitting with her, generally being really nice. Alex put his coffee mug down and rolled up his sleeves.

'Let's get her to bed,' Alex walked over and lifted Addison up the stairs. She stirred at first but simply moved her head. As she lay down on the bed, she curled up into a ball. Meredith slipped her trainers off and took her zippy off. She wasn't risking waking her to get her into her pyjamas. Meredith closed the door slowly and let a breath she had been holding out. Scraping her hair back she went down the stairs to see Alex lifting Addison's bags out the car. Meredith shook her head and lifted the bag Addison had been in hospital with. Separating the lights from the darks, Meredith put her first washing on, knowing that there was more to come. Meredith started scrubbing the kitchen when the phone went.

'Meredith Grey?'

'Where is Addison?'

'Who is this?' Meredith recognised the voice but wanted to make sure.

'Never mind, where is she?'

'No, you tell me who you are and I'll tell you where Addison is,'

'It's Mark, where is she?'

'She went back to New York. She got a new job. She was discharged a week ago and we haven't seen her since. Please, leave her and us alone,' Meredith put the phone down. She had said what she had been told to. Alex came in the door and looked at Meredith.

'Who was that?'

'Mark, he was asking where she was,'

'What did you say?'

'That she was in New York,'

'Good, I'll stay until Derek gets back, just in case,'

'I'm going to phone Derek, he should be out of surgery,'

'Derek shepherd'

'Derek, Mark called,'

'What did he say?'

'He wanted to know where she was. I told him she was in New York and we hadn't seen her since last week,'

'Are you on your own with her?'

'No, Alex says he'll stay till you get home,'

'Ok, I'll be fifteen minutes, don't worry, everything will be fine,' Meredith wanted to believe him. Would everything be fine? Mark was after Addison but he didn't know she was dieing. What if he came looking for her? Meredith was beginning to let fear of Mark consume her where she remembered Alex was here, and that he wouldn't let anything happen.


	10. I'm sorry he hurt you

Addison opened her eyes slowly to see Meredith over in the corner putting clothes in the closet. She didn't say anything and watched as the young inters folded the clothes neatly.

'Meredith…' Addison pulled herself up and smiled at Meredith.

'Take things easy,'

'How did I get up here?'

'Alex carried you while you were sleeping,'

'Are you ok? You keep looking out the window,'

'I'm fine, just keeping an eye out,'

'For what?'

'Nothing, you want something to eat?'

'Yeah, I'll come down with you,'

'Stay there,' Meredith went out to the hall and started shouting.

'ALEX?'

'I'm coming,' Alex ran up the stairs and gently lifted Addison. She started laughing.

'If this is what happens when you get sick, I should have done it years ago,' Alex carried her down the stairs, being careful of her head. Sitting her on the couch he started fussing over her.

'Alex, I'm ok,'

'Addison, I've done this before. What else do you want?'

'I would kill for a cup of coffee,' Alex left Addison and went into the kitchen. He knew what was coming.

'_Alex can you move me?'_

'_Sure Hannah,' Alex slid his arms under his sixteen year old sister and moved her gently._

'_That better?'_

'_Yeah, thanks Alex,' _

'_What would you say to a spin in the car?'_

'_Yeah, I would love to,' Alex grabbed his sister's coat and slipped it on her, making sure not to move her too suddenly. Lifting her out to the car he put the wheel chair in the back. Alex headed up to Gray's lake. It was calm and peace full there. Pulling in, He lifted his sister up and into the wheel chair._

'_Alex, when I go, look after mom for me,'_

'_Hannah, please, I don't want to think about it,'_

'_Alex, I've been told nearly a month ago that I had about five or six weeks left, please, I need to make sure things are going to be ok when I'm not here,'_

'_Hannah, you're my baby sister. I love you so much and the thought of losing you is something I don't want to face,' Hannah lifted her hand and caressed his face gently. _

'_Alex, you're the best big brother I could have asked for. I'm sorry that I'm putting you through this with mom. Dad's an arse and I don't want him at my funeral, please,'_

'_Ok, what else?' Alex was fighting back the tears._

'_Look after mom. She'll need you more that ever once I'm not here. Alex, always do you're best. I sound like an old woman but it has to be said. You're amazing and don't let anybody tell you differently. I want you to have this,' Hannah took her necklace off and her ring. Sliding the ring on the necklace she took hold of his hand and placed it gently in it._

'_If ever you feel sad or down, remember I'm always here, right in your heart. I'll always be there for you. Just rub my ring and there I'll be, right by your side, through thick and thin,' Alex took hold of his sister's necklace and embraced her tightly._

'_Promise me you'll never forget me Alex?'_

'_I promise,' Hannah smartened herself up and kissed Alex on the head. Taking her home she asked to be put into bed. Alex obliged and put her in her favourite top. _

'_I love you Alex,'_

'_I love you too Hannah,' Alex left her to sleep. _

'_Hannah, mom wants to know what you want to eat.' Alex walked over to the side of his sister's bed. Gently shaking her, his heart began beating faster. _

'_Hannah?' The tears fell freely from Alex's eyes. _

'_Alex, I told you to ask…' Alex's mom stopped dead in the doorway at the sight she was witnessing. Alex was cradling his sister, rocking her back and forward._

'_She's gone…she's gone,' _

Alex filled the mug with coffee and looked out the window. Lifting his hand to his neck he rubbed his sister's necklace that was around his neck.

'Alex, you ok?'

'Yeah, I'm fine Meredith,' Alex brushed past Meredith and handed Addison the mug.

'Thanks,' Alex walked away from her like she was a zombie.

'Alex what's wrong?'

'Why would there be something wrong?'

'Because your tears are tear stained and you've been in a world of your own,'

'It's nothing,'

'Alex,'

'My sister, she had the same as Addison. I took her for a drive. She gave me her necklace and ring. She told me everything that she wanted. She died that night,' Meredith took a deep breath in and stepped towards Alex.spreading her arms out she pulled him in for a hug.

'I'm sorry,' Alex wrapped his arms around Meredith and sighed.

'Thanks,'

'I kina guessed you needed that,'

'Yeah,'

'What age was she?'

'Hannah was sixteen but was only two weeks into being sixteen when she was told she had it,'

'Alex…'

'Anyway, how's Addison?'

'She's ok. She's only got a few weeks. We won't let them be wasted. We will look after her,'

'I want to help as much as I can,'

'Alex, of course you can. You don't even have to ask,' the front door opened and Meredith walked over to Derek. Throwing her arms around his neck he embraced her tightly.

'I missed you,'

'I missed you too,'

'How is she?'

'She's in the living room. How come you were so long?'

'Addison's pressing charges against Mark but through me. That son of bitch won't get away with that,'

'Ok, calm down. Derek, don't get worked up about it. He'll get what's coming to him,' Meredith pulled Derek against her.

'Go and see Addison, I think she's sick of me by now,' Derek leant down and kissed Meredith's nose. Taking his jacket off he went in to see Addison.

'Addie, how you doing?'

'I'm ok, how was work?'

'Fine. I need to talk to you...about Mark,' Addison took a deep breath in.

'You can press charges against him, through me,'

'No, I can't deal with it Derek. I don't want to think about him or have anything to do with him. Please don't make me do it,' Addison was getting adjitated.

'Ok, I won't. Relax ok,' Derek left Addison sitting in the living room and headed up the stairs to his bedroom. He could tell Meredith had been tidying up. There were no clothes on the floor and the bed was neat. Taking his shirt off he flopped down on the bed. He didn't know how much more he could take.

Derek's eyes grew heavy but they shot open when they heard a scream coming from down the stairs. Running down he spotted Marks car in the driveway, the drivers door wide open. Walkind slowly into the kitchen, Derek could see Mark holding Addison up. Mereidth was lying on the floor, Alex lying down beside her.

'How do you fancy a trip Addison?'

'Mark please, leave me alone!' Derek crept along the hall, being careful not to make a sound. Looking down at Meredith head, a small puddle of blood was forming beside it. Alex looked up and nodded to Derek.

'Mark, let her go,' Derek's voice was calm but stern.

'Oh look, Mc Dreamy's here to save the day!'

'Mark let her go!' Derek was walking towards Mark.

'Stop where you are, or I'll bounce her off a wall,' Derek stopped and looked Mark straight in the eyes.

'What have you become Mark? You're beating up women. That's not the Mark I knew I New York. You said you loved her,'

'I do'

'Bull shit. If you loved her you wouldn't do that to her. You'd let her go,' Mark looked at Addison. She was shaking with fear. Slowly realeasing his grip from her neck, Addison fell to the floor. Mark stepped back and watched as Derek picked her up and carried her into the hall. Laying her down on the floor, his attention turned back to Mark.

'Alex, get her out of here,' Alex lifted Meredith and closed the Kitchen door behind himself.

'Mark, talk to me,'

'Why? You're the son of a bitch she left me for. I waited for her and she never came back. You had taken the only thing I loved away from me,' Mark's fists were clenched.

'Mark, I can't control what Addison does. She is her own person,' Derek sat down on a bar stool.

'You still love her,'

'Yes, but not in the way I used to. I know a lot about her Mark that you don't,'

'Like what?'

'...She's dieing Mark,' the words left his mouth and hit Mark like a tonne of Bricks. Standing up he went over and stood in font of Mark. As Mark closed his eyes Derek started knocking the crap out of him.

'YOU'RE A BASTARD! SHE DIEING AND YOU STILL COULDN'T LEAVE HER ALONE,' Derek stopped as Mark hit the floor. Alex pushed the door open and shouted on Derek.

'Shepherd…It's Meredith,' Turning sharply he left Mark and went out to the hall to see her lying on the ground.

'Where's Addison?'

'I took her up the stairs,'

'Go and get her, put her in my car,' Derek lifted Meredith head.

'Mere…can you hear me?' She moved her hand slightly but Derek didn't notice. Lying her back down he opend her eyes. Both responded. Mark was shouting from the kitchen. Lifting Meredith he realised how floppy her body was. She was like a doll. Her hair was straggled across her face, some of it red with blood. Carrying her out to the car he placed her gently in the front seat. Alex was helping Addison walk, slowly but surly.

'Alex, Take Addison to the hospital and tell them I'm bringing Meredith…and Mark Sloane,'

'No, you're not putting him in the same car as Meredith,'

'Alex, trust me,' Alex Put Addison in the car and pulled away from the house. Dragging Mark out the house, he threw him in the boot of the car. Meredith was beginning to stir.

'Mere?'

'Derek, what happened? Where's Addison?' Meredith started looking about before realising she was in the hospital car park. Three men from security were dragging Mark out the car. Derek lifted Meredith gently and walked with her into the hospital. Placeing her down on a bed, he gently lifted her head to look at it.

'What did he hit you with?' It couldn't of been his hand.

'It was my mother vase. The green one. I hated it anyway,' Derek laughed as he started cleaning the wound on her head.

'Mere, I need to get you down to get a CT or a X-ray, just to see if there's anything still in there,'

'Yeah, ok. Can you stand still?' Derek lifted his light and shone it in her eyes.

'Ok, we'll go with an CT,' Derek put her hair in a pony tail and lifted her out of the room. She snuggled into his neck. As he laid her down on the table she grabbed onto his collar.

'Don't leave me,'

'Mere, I'm just behind the glass, it won't take long. Lye as still as you can. I won't be far away,' Meredith released her grip and slipped her arms under the covers. Closing her eyes she started humming.

'Meredith, can you open you're eyes for me?' Meredith opened them slowly.

'We're nearly done,' as the bed slid back out she could feel Derek's hands slipping into hers.

'It's a clear scan, you need sown up and then me and you can go home.

'Where's Addison,' Derek didn't know where Alex had taken her.

'She's with Alex,'

'Ok, as long as he didn't hurt her,'

'Meredith, what happened?'

'He came in the front door. I ran through and lifted Addison. I got her into the kitchen. He must of grabbed Addison before he hit me,'

'Ok, lets get you sewn up,' Derek carried her back to the exam room, where her put four stitches in her head.

'Wait here,' Derek left her and went along to the attending locker room. Pulling a hat out his locker he smiled. It was a hat his mom had made for him. Closing the door behind him, he could here Alex. Slipping into a side room, he could see Addison curled on a ball on the bed.

'Thanks Alex, can you go and give this to Meredith, bring her back along here. She's in the end room,'

'Addison's not said a word since we left,' Derek squeezed his shoulder and took a deep breath in.

'Addie?' She didn't look away from the wall.

'Addie, he's gone. He won't hurt you again, I promise,' She closed her eyes and started sobbing. Lifting he up he sat down on the seat next to the bed. Rocking her back and forward, he realised her breathing had calmed down and she was almost sleeping. Meredith walked in the room, Alex behind her.

'How is she?'

'Sleeping, How are you feeling?'

'Like I've been hit on the head with a vase,' Derek stood up and kissed Meredith. Addison lay sleeping even in the car home. The kitchen was a bombsite.

'What happened to my kitchen?' Izzie was standing with her hands on her hips.

'There was blood on the floor! What happened?' Derek took Addison straight up the stairs and put her into bed. Meredith followed him up but went straight into her own bed. Looking in the mirror she could see the blood in her hair.

'I can't sleep with it in my hair,' Meredith pulled herself out fo bed and turned the shower on. Stepping in she could here Derek in the bedroom.

'Derek, come here,' Derek walked in, his eyes red. Meredith stepped out the shower and started taking his clothes off. Standing in the shower the water cascaded down over the top of them. But they weren't making love. They were standing holding each other like there was no tomorrow. Derek was standing like a sack of potatoes, hunched over. Meredith washed her hair and his, but in the middle of rinsing his, he broke down. He couldn't take anymore. His body was done, physically and mentally. Meredith done what came naturally and stood, holding him, unable to do anything else. After ten minutes she got him out the shower. They lay in each others arms, not wanting the world to find them, hoping they would both wake up and it would all be a nightmare. When Derek was asleep, Meredith crept out the bed. Checking on Addison she could see she was fast asleep, her body unable to be under any stress. Meredith closed the curtains in Addisons room and slipped her trainers off. Pulling the covers over Addison, she leaned down and kissed Addisons forehead.

'I'm sorry he hurt you,' Meredith left and closed the door behind her. Alex and Izzie were curled up on the couch together, Alex almost sleeping.

'Izzie, is he ok?'

'Yeah, just needed some time,' Meredith smiled and walked into the kitchen. Her head was killing her. She started cleaning up and wiping her blood off the floor.

'I was going to do that,' Izzie was standing at the door.

'It's ok, I needed to think,'

'What's up?' Izzie pulled a bottle of wine out the fridge and two glasses.

'Derek's done in. he can't take anymore and I feel one day he's just gonna break into pieces and be a mess. We were in the shower. I knew he didn't have the energy to even was his hair so I did it for him. He just broke down crying. I didn't know what to do,' Meredith lifted the glass to her mouth and took a large drink.

'Meredith, he's got a lot on his plate, it's understandable that he broke down. The only thing you can do is make sure there for him. Remember you don't have to deal with Addison on your own,'

'I know, thanks Izzie,'

'Even when things get rough, remember one thing, You love each other,'


	11. One last time

It had been a week since mark had came to the house and Addison was getting worse, rapidly. She was unable to stand without help and could barely walk. Her life was slipping away. Meredith was back at work, but spending her spare time caring for Addison. They had become close, almost like best friends. Meredith gad tried to resist the friendship, knowing what was going to happen but she realised that even though she knew what was going to happen, she couldn't let that stop what was happening. Alex was over every day, helping to move Addison, making sure she wasn't in pain, giving Meredith some time with Derek. Derek was putting on a brave face for Addison. The rate at which she was progressing she didn't have weeks, she had days. Derek had taken a leave of absence from the hospital to stay with Addison, to care for her, talk to her, keep her active but with everyday each task became more like a mountain to climb for Addison.

'Derek,'

'Yeah,'

'I want to go to the trailer, one last time,' Derek looked up from the table at Addison.

'Please, just one last time,' Derek nodded and told Alex where he was going. Slipping Addison's jacket on he carried her out to the car. She seemed contented, like she didn't have a care in the world. Pulling into the plot of land she smiled. Derek lifted her out the car over to the space where the trailer used to be. She looked around, like she had lost something. Derek put her down and helped her over to the side of the water. She could see her reflection in the water and it frightened her. She was a shadow of her former self, her hair scraped back, her face long and gaunt. Sitting down on the grass Derek sat beside her.

'There's something's you need to know before I go,'

'Addison, please, not now,' Derek threw pieces of grass into the water.

'Derek, I know as well as you do that I don't have long. I don't want to go knowing that I didn't say these things or sort anything out,' Derek looked over at her as she took his hand.

'You're an amazing guy Derek and don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Meredith is one of life's precious jewels that you meet only once. She took in her boyfriends ex wife. That took a hell of a lot of courage and self control. We have become really close and I want to know that you'll look after her, no matter what happens?'

'I will,'

'Please don't loose faith. It's one of the things in life was have that is hard to keep. Remember that things happen for a reason. I'm meant to go now, not in a year's time, now. You need to remember that to stay sane,' Addison chuckled to herself.

'I don't want my funeral to be sad and depressing. Make sure people smile at least once but don't make it cheesy. Don't tell anyone the state I'm in, even if they ask, you say nothing. I want to go down with the little dignity I've got left. I'll always keep a look out for you. I'll be right by your side always. You ever feel alone, remember that I'm right beside you. But if you do anything stupid I'll slap the back of your head,' Derek was sitting, the tears falling silently.

'Remember me. Don't forget about me, please. I still love you Derek and wouldn't want that to be forgotten. Promise me you won't forget me,'

'I promise,'

'Always?'

'Always,' Addison pulled Derek over to her chest and hugged him.

'I'll always be with you, no matter what happens,' they sat in silence, just looking out over the still waters, neither one of them wanting it to end.

'We should get back, everyone will be worrying about us,' Derek picked Addison up and carried her to the car. He didn't know what to say. Addison sat in the front of the car and watched as Derek shut off from the world. He didn't say anything else until he laid her down on the bed.

'Promise's promises'

'Always always,' Derek kissed her head and left her on her own, to think about what had just happened. Meredith was down in the kitchen, tidying up.

'How's Addison?' Derek didn't answer her. Walking over she lifted his head with her hand. He looked her in the eyes and all she could see was pain and suffering. Pulling him into her chest she kissed his head.

'It's ok,' Derek began sobbing. He didn't want Addison to go but he knew it was coming. Meredith led him up the stairs into Addison's bedroom. She was lying in bed, her eyes becoming heavy. Derek and Meredith sat on the ends of the bed and watched as Addison tried to turn on her back.

'Remember What I said Derek, one of life's jewels,' Derek nodded. Addison held her arm out to Meredith. Pulling her down she whispered in her ear.

'Look after him for me,'

'Of course,'

'Always be true to your heart, never let anyone take you somewhere your heart doesn't want to go,' Addison kissed Meredith cheek and squeezed her hand. Sitting down next to Derek, tears began to form in Meredith's eyes. Standing up she shouted on Alex, Izzie and George. They all came and stood at the door. Alex was holding Izzie, George holding Meredith. Derek was up holding Addison in his arms when the grasp on his hand loosened. Looking up at Meredith she took a sharp breath in.

'Addison,' Derek looked down in disbelief. Meredith walked over and moved Addison's hair out her face.

'Derek, look at me,' He raised his head, the tears dampening his shirt.

'She's gone,' Derek pulled Addison closer into his chest and wouldn't let her go. Izzie and George left, Alex waited to see If Meredith needed anything.

'Alex can you get me the phone,' Alex nodded and came back holding the portable phone.

'Stay with him, shout of he needs anything,' Meredith brushed past Alex, trying to fight the tears.

'Is Chief there?'

'Yes, I'll just get him,'

'Richard Webber,'

'Chief, get bailey and come round to the house,'

'Meredith, what's happened?'

'I'll let you know when you get here,' Meredith hung the phone up and sat on her bed. She couldn't fight them any longer. George was standing in her door way, watching her. Walking over he pulled her to her feet and hugged her.

'I can't believe she's gone,' George stood holding Meredith for twenty minutes when the front door went. Meredith wiped her face and headed down to answer the door.

'Where is she?' Bailey looked like she had been hit by a bus.

'Follow me,' Meredith led them into the living room where they sat in an uncomfortable silence.

'Grey, where is Addison?' Bailey was beginning to get stressed.

'She's gone,' Meredith's voice was nothing more than a whisper but it was enough for Bailey. Running up the stairs she pushed Addison's door open.

'My god,' Signalling to Alex to leave she walked over to Derek and lifted Addison away from him. Pulling him to his feet, she watched as the usually non emotional man broke down onto a heap on the floor. Coming down to his level she wrapped her arms around him.

'She's really left,' Derek's sobs could be heard from the living room and Meredith couldn't stand it any longer. Walking into the room she stood horrified at the sight of Derek. Bailey moved out of the way as she held him in against her. Bailey walked over and gently kissed Addison on the head.

'Goodbye Addison,'


End file.
